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“Welcome to the Great Singaporean S(l)ing Off.

For this week’s Signature dish, Graham and Alice would love you to produce a four-tiered cake. But there’s a twist. It must be done in a swimming pool.”

Contestants Jackson, Alex, Kit and Caroline successfully produced an ambitious four-tiered human pyramid. This was mostly thanks to Kit “hushed forte” Holliday’s delicateknowledge of balance. Caroline pulled through into 1st place as the only baker not to succumb to a soggy bottom. However several of the singers remained in the oven for too long and were subsequently over-baked. Contestant Rosie “lobster” Taylor remained unfazed: “sunburn is a state of mind”.

“Now on to the Technical Challenge. Graham and Alice, it’s time for you to retreat to the Yacht Club. We hear there’s caviar and oysters awaiting you. Bakers, this week you’ll be faced with one of Graham’s recipes: Mozart’s Solemn Vespers. This is one of the toughest challenges Eclair Choir has ever seen. Can the Can basses get their timings right? Will the sopranos’ tuning rise to the occasion or fall flat? Is there a quaver off in bar 26? With only 27 minutes to complete this challenge the contestants mustbe prepared to deliver the (baked) goods.”

Jason Lai raised his baton: “3,2,1, BAKE”. Disaster struck piping expert Michael Papadopofopobopoulos as he realized he’d left his score, and the recipes of several other bakers, back in Raffles Hotel after one too many Singapore Slings the previous night. Luckily he was willing to pull out all the stops and retrieved the scores on time. Meanwhile, noted bread makerCatherine Clark prepared 16 (French) plaits for the occasion. Would these plaits hold their definition in the heat of the moment? She was faced with the unusual criticism from Sarah “salary” Assaf that the plait was “too neat” and needed to be re-modeled. Fortunately, music was the food of love to the audience and almost all the plaits remained intact. Jason Lai came 1st in the technical, receiving a coveted Graham handshake, and a slightly less coveted Toby Hession friend request.

“Finally, it’s time for the showstopper. Contestants must create a Night Safari complete with at least 8 animal figures. They can be anything from fruit bats to giant flying squirrels. You have 2 hours on the clock, bakers. Go!”

Judge Graham “cracker” Ross was concerned after the taxi driver warned that “all you will see is the night”, but the safari turned out to be the crème de la crème of wildlife experiences.We saw Indian elephants, porcupines, cloud leopards, slow lorises, wolves and the lesser-spotted ‘Graham’s receding hairline’. During the judging, Graham had a terrifying encounter with a ferocious predator, commonly known as a ‘duck’, but luckily this didn’t spoil the choir’s experience of the rainforest and the Night Safari rose to no 1. Singapore attraction. 

“This week, I get the fun job of announcing star baker. This baker hasn’t got the best track record in getting his creations to rise, but somehow he turned things around this morning and actually woke up. Greg Barber, you are the star baker this week. Congratulations. Of course at the end of every week, we have to say goodbye to someone. This week unfortunately that person is Rosie Taylor, who will be going back to join her family. Sorry Rosie.”

Tune in next week for start of the Great Malaysian Melisma Off…

Catherine Clark (DS3 CA1)